“RJ hon! I’m so glad we caught you! Hi Aunt Chrissy, what’s goin’ on?”
LindaKay was 4 years older than RJ but seeing her like this with her parents taking up the front seat made her seem so much younger. The trio bundled out and gave RJ and his aunt hugs. Uncle Bill stole a kiss from Aunt Chrissy and she gave him a critical look and clucked her tongue un-approvingly. LindaKay passed her baby boy to RJ in way of introduction and said “You haven’t met my youngest, Leonard. Come to think of it, you haven’t met any of my kids. We didn’t bring them to the funeral cause they caint be trusted to behave. You know how kids are. Where did you say your kids and wife got off to? Its just tragical they couldn’t be here for your momma’s funeral…”
There was an awkward moment as RJ tried to come up with an answer while juggling baby, blanket, and rattle all at the same time. Uncle Bill rescued him on one point and said “They’re at Disneyland down in Florida LindaKay. I don’t blame them, can’t disappoint the kids just cause someone dies. You’d never hear the end of it, isn’t that right Eleanor?” RJ’s Aunt Eleanor, the eldest of his mother’s siblings looked over from where she was standing with Aunt Chrissy and and said “Lord LindaKay, remember how you and David wailed when you couldn’t go to Busch Gardens cause I had to have an operation? You’d had thought the whole clan had died. Besides, they can stop in and pay their respect on the return trip, can’t they RJ?”
RJ nodded, still holding the child out from him a bit and trying not to drop him. The baby wriggled and squirmed without making a sound, its tiny hand gripping the rattle and banging it rapidly on RJ’s arm. Aunt Edith took mercy on him and reached for the child “Tsk tsk! I haven’t met the man yet who knew how to hold a baby, and here you’ve raised three of them!” RJ smiled his gratitude and passed child and accessories over gladly. Baby Leonard chose that moment to let his rattle fly and it went sailing over RJ’s shoulder. RJ followed its arc too surprised to make more than a half hearted attempt at catching it and braced for the sound of the rattle breaking on the sidewalk.
But before the toy could hit the ancient stone sidewalk Sparky ran out of the tall grass and grabbed it, dancing backward with the rattle in his mouth and leaving the half-chewed red ball in its place. Everyone started calling to to the dog and slapping their thighs, gesturing and even clapping for obedience. Aunt Chrissy used her sternest voice to call him to her without result. Baby Leonard chose that moment to start crying loudly and RJ and his uncle Bill rushed forward in a flanking movement but Sparky was having none of it. He dodged several attempts at recovering the toy, letting RJ’s hands get within inches and then bounding off into the grass. No one could make out where he was but they could track the toy’s rattle. Moments later, Sparky burst from the grass and crouched just out of reach. He shook his head wildly and was rewarded by even more manic noise from the baby’s rattle. Sparky’s eyes shone with the attention this new game was getting him and his tail wagged furiously. It was all great fun as far as Sparky was concerned but not so much for the adults and certainly baby Leonard thought it tragic.
On RJ’s third attempt he got a finger on the toy before Sparky ran the long way around the house, shot back thru Uncle Bill’s legs and then came to a sudden stop just under the porch. RJ walked up speaking softly to Sparky who responded to each step RJ took with a short retreat of his own. Soon the dog’s shiny black coat blended with the shadows underneath the house and RJ wasn’t certain where he was. He caught a glint off the plastic here and there and the sound of the rattle as the dog shook it and chewed on it. RJ paused, not wanting to crawl under the porch after the dog and he looked back to where everyone else stood watching. He looked from face to face but there was no mercy and his uncle just shrugged and said “Looks like you’re elected, though I’m not sure Leonard will want it back after that dog’s been at it.”
RJ braced himself on the stack of cinderblocks that formed one corner of the porch and duck-walked in. He saw remnants of toys and bones that Sparky had brought under there over the years strewn about in the dust or half buried. they all were gnawed and discolored, and only half recognizable. Some of them looked like toys that might have belonged to RJ long ago. RJ remembered playing in the shade under there with plastic soldiers and marbles and bits of plastic packing material as building blocks. He shook the memory from his head and waited for his eyes to adjust, looking up thru the cracks in the porch for hidden cobwebs or spiders. He could hear the dog panting and its teeth clacking on the plastic as Sparky tried to get a purchase on the smooth baby toy. RJ called out and patted the ground encouragingly, but a cloud of dust was all he got for his trouble. He half waddled, half squirmed himself further under the house and said “C’mere Sparky, you dumb dog, I gotta have that toy back!”
Of course there was no answer and RJ’s scalp started itching just thinking about the layers of dust he was now swimming in, breathing. He tried to peer beyond the motes dancing where the sun shown thru cracks in the the porch but it didn’t help him see anything, it just had the effect of killing his night vision. The old house seemed to be exhaling cold damp air right into his face. It reminded him of leaning over the edge of the well in Grammaw Selkirk’s back yard and feeling the coolness from far below wash up over him. But this was getting colder and more uncomfortable by the second. Reluctantly he let one knee touch the ground and leaned further in, inching forward guided by sound alone. Sparky’s panting suddenly stopped and became a growl and RJ froze, squinting and leaning forward on one hand as he tried to make out what was going on a few feet in front of him. Didn’t his aunt say something about snakes living in the rocks at the back of the house? Maybe Sparky scented one under here with them? RJ had heard someplace that a nest of snakes smelled like cucumbers and he took a slow deep breath searching for the merest hint of vegetables in the air. He had decided to back out when the dog made a startled yelp and fell silent. He leaned forward again and softly asked “Sparky? You OK boy?”
RJ was acutely aware of the vulnerable position he was in. He stretched a leg back behind him to get a purchase on the ground before sliding backwards when he saw or thought he saw a point of light and the shiny pink curve of the baby’s rattle. Apparently Sparky had abandoned it and left it lying just a foot beyond RJ’s reach. RJ didn’t want to return empty handed or spend a second longer in this closed in space than he had to so he hefted himself a bit forward and reached for the toy. It moved backwards just out of his reach exactly as it had when Sparky was toying with him out on the sidewalk. RJ cleared his throat and clearly said “Sparky, Stop it!” and made another attempt on the toy, now almost completely stretched out in the dust. His hand again missed, but he thought he felt the dog’s fur this time. He made a mad scramble for dog or toy and tried to pull whatever he touched to him. He heard a grunt of surprise and a second pink point of light appeared next to the first and he heard a soft hissing sound. It sounded like his own words being repeated back to him with a slow, heavy slur; “Ssssparky, sssstopiiiittt!”
RJ made a sound of shock and surprise as he scrambled backwards as fast as he could from under the porch. He tried to call out but all that would come out of his mouth was a noise that sounded like “Gaaaah!” He bumped his head sharply on the porch as he rushed to get out from under there and if he heard a distance echoing repeat of “Ssssparky, sssstopiiiittt” he didn’t pause to make sure. He bolted upright soon as he could and turned around in circles, blinking in the sun and suddenly unsure of his footing. He put a hand out and grabbed a stout limb of the dogwood tree and pulled himself into it, almost hugging the trunk. He tried to call out a warning to his relatives, coughing and spitting while things spun around in his vision threatening to knock him to the ground. He couldn’t see his aunts or his uncle anywhere in the yard but the cars were still there and he took a step toward them. He caught movement back toward the porch and froze, slowly rolling his eyes in that direction, dreading what he might see crawling out into the light.
What he saw was his aunt Chrissy and Uncle Bill sitting in the two rocking chairs on the porch and looking at him owlishly in surprise. They made no effort to help him or even speak to him. He looked at them as if they were cardboard cut outs of his actual relatives and then looked back down the sidewalk where he had last saw them, half expecting to see his real family still waiting for him to retrieve the baby rattle.
“Wha….what the HELL is under that house??”
His uncle looked to his Aunt Chrissy and then looked back. “Nuthin.”
RJ rigidly pointed into the darkness and said “Something just SPOKE to me under there Dammit!”
“RJ!” his Aunt Chrissy snapped back at him. “Mind your language young man!”
RJ blinked and coughed once more, spitting on the sidewalk. “Don’t ‘language’ me, what in God’s name is going here? You must have heard it, you were sitting right over my head!” He took a step forward and then froze, unable to move any closer to the shadowy darkness. The skin on his head crawled and even his face felt tight and hot as he tried to dust himself off as rapidly as possible.
“We heard you hit your head RJ…” Uncle Bill volunteered, “You were under there a while and we thought you were playing with some old toys or something. Sparky came out with the rattle a while back. LindaKay and Eleanor are inside showing the baby to your grammaw. Why don’t you come on in and visit with us?”
RJ’s anger rose at the matter-of-fact tone the two were using with him. He was still trying to clear his head and leaning heavily on the tree. “Wait, came out? The dog came out with the toy?” Aunt Chrissy stood up and held out her arms, gesturing to him. “C’mon on up here RJ, I’ll put some ice in a rag and you can hold it against that bump you’ve got. C’mon on now, don’t be so foolish.”
RJ stepped backwards, she was using the same tone with him she’d used on the dog. He took one more look at the house and the black pool of shadows beneath it and turned toward his car. “No way, I’m not coming near that…that thing, that place ever again! No Ma’am, no way!” He opened the door to his honda and started the engine, the radio immediately squawking at him as he put it in gear. His aunt and uncle were on the sidewalk now but he couldn’t hear what they were saying over “Coal Miner’s Daughter.” He gave the dial a frantic twist and turned around to back the car onto the road. It was a tight squeeze between the end of his uncle’s car and the stones that marked the driveway but he didn’t care. He pulled into the road and lined the car up in the lane without even looking to see if it was clear to pull out. A pickup truck buzzed around him and the driver shouted something rude in passing. RJ gunned the engine and the car leapt forward just as his aunt got to the end of the sidewalk and waved frantically at him to stop. He waved back automatically even as the car picked up speed and sped away from his grandmother’s house. He’d had enough, he’d heard enough, and as his friend Indiana Bill would say, it was time to get the hell out of Dodge.